And then today was completely normal.
And we carried on with our original plans.
Given, we were a whole lot more tired than we would have been if yesterday had not happened, but it felt so...normal.
And yesterday was so...not normal. Not in the slightest.
Yesterday, my healthy, sports-loving, almost fourteen year old brother had a seizure, and yesterday I firmly believed that my family would be coming home, not sun-kissed and sandy from a week at the beach, but with blood-shot eyes and in silence from losing my little brother.
It was awful, and I have never, ever been as scared as I was yesterday.
And the one thought I had sitting in the hospital when we were told that he was going to be ok, and that we could continue on with our vacation was that wow, God is so faithful.
And then I had another thought...what if my little brother wouldn't have made it?
And the moment I thought that He responded in the gentlest of ways,

"I still would have been faithful."

And I had to sit down as soon as I heard His voice, because that truth is exactly what I have been trying to grasp this entire year.

And yesterday, that truth pierced my heart as I thought of all the wishes wished and prayers prayed by so many for "happily ever afters" that don't come true as we would have liked them to, and I realized,

He's still faithful.

Even when that loved one doesn't make it.
When that job is still no where to be found.
When that relationship still doesn't work out.
When the cancer or the disease is still there.
When the money is still tight.

He's still faithful.
That doesn't change.
And I am so good at forgetting that. I'm so good at letting my fears take root and push out the promise of God's faithfulness. And He's so good at calming this anxious heart of mine. At re-directing my wandering thoughts toward His glory. At speaking in that calm voice I so need, and gently saying,

"I am always faithful."

And today was completely normal in comparison to yesterday.
And as I watch my brothers play Monopoly and hear their excited talk about the 360 spin that just happened on the X games, I have a hard time believing that yesterday even happened at all...that yesterday my strong tennis-playing brother went limp in the back seat...and that it could happen again.
And my fear begins to take root, and suddenly His voice cuts through again..

"I will still be faithful."

And that's all I need to know.

"Oh Lord God of Heaven's armies! Where is there anyone as mighty as you, O Lord? You are entirely faithful. You rule the ocean's. You subdue their storm-tossed waves."
-Psalm 89:8-9 (NLT)